Imagine this – His Pain: Our Gain

Dear God,
Yes, we have an unfinished business, however, I also have a burning story in my heart.
(Mischievous Smile)
I was 10 years old and on vacation with my cousins. It was raining very heavily that night and I do remember that I had issues with thunder storms at night.
Just as I was about to settle in to sleep, the light in my room went off.
A trace of fear ran through my body. I looked outside to see if it was power outage but the house opposite had light. I could feel my heart beat rising per time. I was afraid of the dark and my imaginations were beginning to run riots. I thought I heard a sound at the door.
“Stop it”, I screamed at my head
But the sound came again and yes, someone was opening my door.
I could see the silhouette of a woman as she tiptoed towards me. Madam Janet! I froze.
Madam Janet was very mean and bitter old woman who served as a nanny in the house. She used to abuse my cousins a lot once their parents leave the house. She was notorious for locking them up in the dark room downstairs for hours.
The children lived in desperate fear of her but won’t report to their parents because she threatened to kill them if they did.
What was she doing in my room?
Before I could say anything, her hands swiftly covered my mouth in a tight grasp as she yanked me out of the bed. She had big hands and that meant that half my nose was also gripped-in tight.
I struggled to breathe, kicking desperately.
“Shut up and stay quiet or I will suffocate you,” she whispered into my ears.
“What was she going to do with me?” My heart raced uncontrollably.
My cousins believed that she was a witch and has fetish tendencies. They told me that she drank the blood of children in the middle of the night. I tried to scream again but couldn’t.
She was dragging me down the staircase. I froze. The dungeon.
She was taking me to the dungeon.
Cousin Kenny said that there was a dungeon down at the basement. He said that he had sneaked in down there one day and heard voices of children screaming. That Aunty Janet had children that she kept there permanently and sucks their blood on a daily basis.
I was screaming at the top of my voice but her grip was so tight that no sound came out. And the more I struggled, the tighter the grip.
“Think girl, think,” my little head told me. “Don’t use your strength, use your head”
I calmed down. Whatever it was she wanted to do with me, screaming and struggling will not help me. Even if she was not holding my mouth, the thunder blasts outside would have drowned my screams. To navigate this, I needed to be calm.
She opened a small door with her legs and dragged me into a very dark and eerie room, with shadows dancing ominously on the walls.
The air was thick with fear, and a sense of dread clung to me like a second skin. She tied me up to a chair at the end of the room and wrapped a cell-tape around my hands and legs.
That left my nose free to breathe. I took in a lot of air and wished immediately that I didn’t. The room smelled so horrible that I gaged. I heard the sound of the door slam shut and sprang to my feet to the side of the sound.
I felt the door with my feet and realized to my horror that I was trapped, the door sealed shut with no way out. Panic set in as I frantically searched for an escape, my heart pounding in my chest like a drum.
Wall to wall, I was locked in. I screamed out for help, but my voice echoed back at me mockingly. Tears welled up in my eyes as I pounded on the door with everything I could muster. My body, the chair and my feet, but they were no match for the solid wood that held me captive.
Time seemed to stretch on endlessly as I struggled, my mind consumed by fear and despair. The darkness pressed in on me from all sides, whispering twisted secrets and filling me with a bone-chilling dread.
Time passed—or what felt like an eternity—as I battled against the suffocating darkness that threatened to swallow me whole.
I imagined every manner of creature crawling out of the walls and eating me up. I could swear I saw shadows with seven heads. I thought I heard a movement at my right and jumped hitting the chair against the wall and fell face down on the hard floor.
I lay there on the floor, helpless, hopeless and very sure I was going to die.
I thought about my mum and siblings. My friends and cousins. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone.
They wouldn’t even know what killed me…who killed me. Will they notice that I was gone? Will they miss me?
I thought of what my cousins will say at my burial? Will they remember the games we played together, the fun we had?
Will I go to heaven? I remembered that the last time I went for confession was two weeks ago and the sins of the past weeks were staring me in the face waiting to take me straight to Hell and I wept. I cried for all the things I wanted to do that I may never do.
I cried for all the things I wanted to say that I may never say.
And I cried for all the things that I wanted to be that may never happen.
And I prayed. “Dear Lord, If only you will help me this one time, I will forever love and obey you.”
I closed my eyes and just when I thought I couldn’t bear it any longer, when I thought it was over, a flicker of light pierced the blackness, illuminating a small keyhole on the door.
My heart jumped.
With trembling body I watched as a key turned in the hole, my heart racing with hope and fear.
“This is your chance”, my head whispered, “Go for it, Scream”
The door creaked open slowly, revealing a blinding light that made me squint against its brilliance.
As my eyes adjusted, I let out a piercingly terrified scream, a scream of life and death!
“It’s okay, dear,” Aunty Monica whispered, pulling me into a warm embrace. “It was just a bad dream. You’re safe now.”
What?
Tears of relief streamed down my cheeks as I clung to my beloved Aunty, the terror of the nightmare though so vivid was slowly fading away like a distant memory.
I looked around at the concerned faces of my cousins gathered around, their love and support a comforting balm to my shattered nerves.
I didn’t want to sleep alone again, so Cousin Lily dived into the bed with me. As Lily and I snuggled together in bed, I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Locked in a dark terrifying room, only to realize it was all just a trick of my overactive imagination!
I shook my head in wonder, but pondered the terrifying experience.
“Lord, was that how you felt in the grave?” Where you scared?”
I could still feel my heart miss beats at the thought of the terror I felt that night.
“Dad, how were You able to undertake such a gruesome sacrifice for people who don’t love you and who don’t even care?”
Till date some still argue about whether it happened or not? Whether You died and rose? Yet, in one stroke of event, You redeemed all, both those that belief and they that don’t belief.
Awesome one. Thank you.
Every time I remember that flicker of light that sipped through that deep dark night, I understand the audacity of hope.
Every time I remember the brilliance of that light that overpowered the dark room as the door opened, I understand the thrill of victory.
Every time I remember the warmth of my Aunty Monica hugging me, I understand the strength of love.
And every time I remember the dream, I appreciate the power and the joy of Freedom.
So, today Lord, I stand in solidarity with them that believe to say, Thank You.
And I stand in the gaps for them that don’t believe to say, I believe for them, help their unbelief. Thank You Lord, for enduring the Grave, for the Grace.
Thank you for accepting the Pain, for the Gain.
I am your daughter, grateful, faithful and checking in.