Taming the Jew – Part 3

Dear God,

“How is it going?” Nonye whispered to me

“So far, so good. At least she hasn’t started deliverance service on me,” I whispered back.

“Why are we whispering?” I said rolling my eyes

(Nonye burst out laughing).

“Chai, I have seen sheerge, she said covering her mouth to stop the laughter, and my daughter has threatened to run away from home if I don’t do something.”

“I think she means well, it’s just that she is too fastidious in her worldview. She needs to learn to respect other people’s perspectives.”

“Exactly. One-way system of religion. Repent or Perish. My daughter Kara said, Mummy, if I have to do all of these not to perish, I would rather choose to perish. People in Heaven have to be so tacky!”

We laughed.

“She is more focused on religious foundations and doctrines, with time and flexibility, she will see and respect other points of view. By the way Nonye, I want to approach the adoption issue”, I said seriously

“What? You think she is ready for that type of conversation?” she whispered with bulging eyes

“What’s the worst thing that can happen? She says No, I will approach Uncle Mike directly,” I insisted

“Hmmm. Okay!”

(Nonye made a quick prayer to the heavens and dived back into the kitchen as she spotted her sister-in-law coming out of the ladies.)

Nonye has always wanted to adopt a child since she struggled with childbirth, but her sisters-in-law hold a very strong view about it. Her husband is indifferent though, but somehow, he seems to respect the sister’s views and would want their approval to proceed being an only son. And that approval has been hanging on their principles of faith. I was willing to stir the waters some more. It’s either you believe in God or you don’t……No deceptions.

“Kara, please help Joshua get that ball”, Sister Bridget called out as she sat down again beside me.

(Joshua was her youngest and had been trying so hard to pick a rolling ball with one hand as he gripped a pack of biscuits in the other. We watched as Kara ran to help him and practically carried him with the ball and all to the house)

I took that as my cue.

“It’s amazing how alive Kara is with all her cousins in the house. It must be very lonely being an only child, I started.

“My sister, it is well, God will do it. She will have many sisters and brothers in Jesus Name,” she prayed

“Amen to that. Amen, from your mouth to the ears of God,” I concurred.

“Poor Nonye, we have tried everything. Prayed, and fasted, but nothing. But still, God’s time is the best, even the fig tree turned around and bore fruits. What God cannot do, does not exist,” she said

(I was silent for a moment. I didn’t like that mention of a fig tree, but If I follow that reference, I will lose focus)

“I am just wondering why she has not gone for adoption,” I said with reserve.

“God forbid, why would she do that?” She asked surprised

“And why should God forbid it? Is adoption not biblical? Are you not adopted?” I asked serially

“Tufiakwa….” She said snapping her fingers over her head. “I was birthed by my mother and so was Nonye. She will birth all her children through her husband in Jesus’ Name……..” she said emphatically

“Amen,” I chorused calmly.

“So you are not adopted?” I asked again

“What do you mean by that? By whom?” she looked perplexed

“By God, of course! The Bible says in Romans 8:15 (the last part) that the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father. Now, let me ask you again….Are you not adopted?”

She kept quiet.

(I dug in)

“What exactly do you have against adoption?” I asked. If by the spirit of God and our faith, we are bold to take on the sonship by the adoption into the family and kingdom of God, we, who are undeserving of such privilege, what rights do we have to condemn the adoption of the sonship of others into our family?” I persisted

“But it is not the same thing now?

“Oh, How? Educate me, Please” I said folding my arms diligently.

“For one, our adoption is of the spirit, not physical. And…and …you don’t know where the child is coming from, whose blood and DNA they bear? What if………..” she trailed off

“What if…… what? They are a product of rape? A thief? Murderer? Name it, yes? Who were we when God adopted us? Angels and Saints, Yes?” I pushed.

(She shifted uncomfortably)

“It is not the same thing…..I em….I…”

“So it’s only in the spirit that you are a child of God. Your sonship is spiritual, physical, you belong somewhere else….where please?”  I said mischievously

“I …. Emh, it’s not like that …..

(I waited as she stammered, my eyes boring holes into hers. Father Lord, there is so much deception in Christendom, walahi)

“Hmmm, it is not the same thing… I……em…. but why adoption? She said looking flustered.

“And why not?” I pressed in

“We are told, in Hebrews 10:23, “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; for He is faithful that promised”, she sighed

“Sister Bridget, are you saying that if you adopt a child, you have wavered in your faith? I asked innocently

She was silent. (She had this weird look on her face)

“How can you profess so much faith, and be this biased about little things? I am really surprised. So, with all these your preachings, if an armed robber repents, you will still not accept to relate with him because, in your head, he is still an armed robber…..old things haven’t passed for him, right?”

Silence.

(The struggle in her heart was so tangible that I decided to help her a little)

“Sister Bridget, there are so many instances in the bible where adoption took place and was orchestrated by God himself… example is Moses, who was adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter. In Exodus 2:10, it says, “When the child grew older, she took him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he became her son. Mordecai adopted Esther and even Jesus himself was adopted by his earthly father Joseph, who raised him as a son even when he knew he was not biologically his….so I ask you again….What do you have against adoption?”

(Father Lord, I know my bible oh. I didn’t even know I could churn out these examples in a whoop)

She was so quiet and very uncomfortable, so I decided to throw her a lifeline.

“What about surrogacy?” I asked sheepishly

(Her eyes light up a little)

“What about it?” She said cautiously

“What if we could get a nice girl to bear your brother’s seed for nine months, birth the child and give them the child as per agreement? People do that a lot. And it’s legal especially if all stakeholders agree…..” I explained eyeing her intently

(I could see her eyes shift from hard to soft).

“The girl will meet with my brother?” She frowned. “That is adultery in disguise and why would the girl agree to that? What if the girl refuses to release the child afterwards? ……Isn’t that complicating issues more instead of waiting in faith for a miracle….,” She added

“Well yes, you have a point, just like adoption, they all have their processes and challenges too. However, there are both medical and legal procedures and the surrogate understands clearly that it is a contract, fully paid for. The girl doesn’t have to sleep with your brother directly, there are modern medical ways to execute that. The advantage is that at least you know what DNA the child carries (according to you) so it is your brother’s child. The surrogate is just the womb to incubate……I added.

“It not a bad idea, if it is possible, she said slowly… but…….. Will my brother agree to it? She asked innocently

(She didn’t even ask if Nonye would agree to it. The truth is that Nonye could not produce the egg, but……)

“Will you agree to it? I asked innocently. Your brother respects your opinion a lot, I am sure if he knows you like it, he will be more favourable towards it”…..I baited quietly

She was quiet again….

(I pressured a little)

“God works in mysterious ways, we never know what miracle he will rot through uncertain means….between adoption and this surrogacy, I am sure…….”

“I think I would prefer the surrogacy……” she cut in quickly

“Wonderful… I shouted…… Really? Why?”

“It’s just………..better……eh……”

“So you will help convince your brother to that option…….?” I asked

“Prayerfully……………”

“I see. Well done Sister Bridget, You see why I said that you have the voice of Jacob but the hand of Esau? I moved in on her.

(The shock on her face was priceless)

“I don’t understand… but you are the one that……”

“That helped you understand that with the surrogate, it is your brother’s seed. So you are sure of the DNA and that is why the option is better, right?” I accused her

“But………”

“But what Sister Bridget? You are okay to have another woman carry your brother’s child and give it to Nonye to raise as her adopted child, but you are not okay if the child does not belong to your brother? Even with your faith, there are classes and strata of acceptance, right? You didn’t even ask once what Nonye wanted. What she is comfortable with. Nonye has been begging you people on bended knees to support her to adopt a child of her choice, and prayerfully, you forbade it, but when you realised, there is an option for your brother, prayerfully you accept.”

“To whom are you praying, Sister Bridget?” I stared her down

“Please don’t say it like that, it is not fair…..” she said sadly

(I wasn’t letting go)

“What is not fair? You practically called her a fig tree just now….

“Jesus!”, she exclaimed

Jesus is Divine, You and I are mortals. Let’s talk, mortal to mortal. Why have you of all people that Nonye has practically given her trust and love refused to support her in one thing that she has ever asked earnestly for? She told you all the dreams she had, how she is convinced she heard from God about this but you won’t bulge…..then when you found a legal way for your brother to take a “second wife” in quote……your prayer chaplets appeared. Deception….that’s what it is…“ I said very intently and almost upset.

“I am sorry you feel that way….I didn’t mean it like that…..

“I don’t feel any way, you said adoption is unclean, meanwhile the bible makes us understand that we cannot call something unclean if God has made it clean. God accepts adoption, why are you so vehemently against it?”

“Sister, please don’t say it like that, I honestly didn’t …..I …. She sighed

“You honestly didn’t what? I probed. Sister Bridget, Can I be honest with you? You like the truth, right? I will tell you the truth, very nicely…….I believe that you are very manipulative with religion…..”

“Blood of Jesus. How can you say that? She rose visibly offended.

“Oh, maybe I should use the word “Controlling”. You know how much your brother loves you and believes in your Christian faith even if he isn’t that “religious”, so you take advantage of it to control his affairs. When you see things that will favour you or him, you see great visions, but when it concerns Nonye, the devil and all his angels start dancing Kokoma around the house……… visions seem to find a way to fall into things that have your spiritual approval……..”

“As the Lord lives, I would never do anything to hurt Nonye………” she said sounding sincere

“Tell that to your sister-in-law, she loves and respects you a lot. She takes you into her home and gives you everything you ask for and more, yet, you can’t stand with her on one thing, just this one thing she desperately needs from you…….but, you are the first to carry the bible and pray for her, delivering all the cats and rats in the house. You have not seen people whom God blessed, because they took a leap of faith with adoption?”

“I have ……” she whispered

(I was shocked. I didn’t expect that)

“You….You…. have?” I said stammered

“Yes, I wanted earnestly for Nonye to have her children like she had Kara, but you are right….I am not God and the choice of how and when is not mine. If Nonye feels strongly about adoption. I will support her…..she said quietly.

(I stared at her stunned. All the wind left my sail immediately. Nonye was standing beside me, tears rolling down her face)

“I am sorry, Nonye, Sister Bridget said kindly. Honestly, I didn’t mean any harm….”

Nonye just ran and hugged her and wept. I saw tears of relief running down Sister Bridget’s face.

I stood there staring at them as they hugged each other and cried. The children stopped playing and stared too.

I met Kara’s eyes, smiled and nodded. Smart girl, she got the message. Her mum’s tears were tears of joy. Nothing was amiss. She ran out with the other children and continued their play.

I walked into the house to the ladies discretely, leaving them alone.

Father Lord, Was I hard? Am I a good girl or a naughty girl?

Hmm, I love you, my Lord, naughty or not, I am your daughter, and I am checking in.